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“Submissiveness Does Not Mean Slave” — Chronicles of the Bynum Bond By Larry and Breona Bynum

Larry & Breona Bynum new pic

Larry & Breona Bynum

I battled with being a “submissive wife” in the beginning of our marriage. I remember reading and hearing about being a submissive wife in marriage counseling. In a Christian marriage, to be submissive is about being humble and loyal to one’s husband. I understood what it meant, but receiving the word and applying it to your life is a totally different situation.

I’ve seen many wives serving their husbands more than being submissive to them. They felt “forced” to have their husband’s dinner ready by 5:00 pm and bath water ran by 6:30 pm, but yet she’s bitter with her husband or not truly desiring to be his wife. So as I was sitting in marriage counseling, I heard this word very clearly, but to be honest, I wasn’t receiving it. I couldn’t receive it because of the wrong mindset I had.

My husband did not make it hard for me to submit: I made it difficult for ME. I was like an infant in that area. I had to acknowledge I had a “submissiveness” problem, because initially, I viewed it in the wrong way—as though I was being made to serve him. But this is not what it means at all. After reading the word (bible) over and over, praying, and linking up with another submissive wife to help me (thanks to my mentor Gia Jones), I was able to gain a clearer perspective.

I was open to doing better because I never wanted my marriage to fail or be broken because of me not handling my role as a wife as God intended. What I did learn through the process was that being submissive is voluntary. I had to surround myself with other like-minded wives to help me see how I could reach my goal in this area. It was also important for me to submit to God first and do as He said in my marriage so that we could reap the benefits of blessings to bless others. While every day is still a journey, I remind myself of my role with this scripture: “Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God (Titus 2:4-5 NIV).

Larry & Breona Bynum’s mission for the “Chronicles of the Bynum Bond” is to share marital nuggets of wisdom that they have learned through prayer/fasting, their Pastor Leroy Davis, and their marriage mentors. They encourage others to seek God for their unique roadmap for a God-designed marriage as it was always intended to be. If you want to contact the Bynum’s, email them at