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The Warmth of Sankofa By Mae Catherine Godhigh


March was National Women’s History Month.

To celebrate women, I decided to speak to you about, yes you guessed it, women.

The other day, I stopped by YouTube and viewed an interesting 3 minute 12 second video about us. It was then and there I decided to jot down some notes and frame this article. The intelligent and beautiful narrator caught my attention as she shared illuminating views on why a strong woman needs a strong man to handle her.

The timing of this article couldn’t be more perfect. In a few days, I will travel to Chicago and serve as a panelist for a tri-state single’s conference. If you are wondering if I am qualified to speak on this subject matter; then I assume you have not read my second book, Articles of a Church Predator. Okay, if you are still not convinced then Google me.

Meanwhile, to all the single ladies in the house, let’s go! Lights! Camera! Action!

In the beginning, God formed a Wo-man for Adam and not a Woe-man!!! – Godhigh 3:16

I have heard many women who want to be in a relationship, attempt to rationalize why they are still single by using the tired cliché; it’s going to take a strong man to handle a strong woman like me!

Anyone with a slight bit of discernment knows this statement really translates: It takes a strong man to handle my lack of femininity, to handle my overbearing personality, to handle my need to be in control and to handle my excessive disrespect.

Problems should be handled. Children should be handled. Animals should be handled. Chemicals should be handled. But a grown adult woman should not need to be handled by anyone.

When a man is faced with handling a woman; one out of 3 things usually happens:

  1. She is handled. That is Man-handled!!!
  2. She remains single and yet continues to beat her chest about how strong she is.
  3. She gets a man but this man is passive aggressive. He is willing to lay down his masculinity in order for her to come and pick it back up. I see you sitting on the edge of your seat. Now this tip is for free. How many of you know that a passive aggressive man and his love come with a big price tag? Sometimes end results are with a casket ready price tag. This type of man rolls out like this. He withholds to punish. He fears conflict. He plays the victim. He is your beat down, door mat yes man. He feels trapped with no way out. Finally, he is afraid of you!

See what these strong personality personas don’t understand is that strong men usually gravitate towards women whose strength is not rooted in obnoxiousness. This woman knows how to influence without aggression. This woman is in touch with her emotions but she is not overwhelmed by them.

This woman is not delusional to the fact that she is naturally vulnerable. She does not simply equate her strength in playing a role in a broken home. She is secure in her femininity. She embraces the high purpose for her life. This woman is fearless and confident when her man leads and takes control. She understands that if a man is too consumed with trying to handle her, there won’t be room in the relationship for him to love and to adore her. She knows she is female. She realizes her true strength lies in her womanhood and not a pseudo manhood. That being said, if any woman feels she needs to be handled by a man, she should not be seeking a relationship. Period. She should be seeking help….… for an identity crisis.

The next time you think about telling a man ‘I need a strong man to handle a strong woman like me’ —

Take a chill pill … and take a moment.

Think about it!

“Don’t become the man you wanted to marry.”