Sometimes our brokenness can come from our childhood and we don’t realize it until we become an adult or come to Christ. Have you ever looked fine physically or thought you were fine until something took place in your life that made you do a complete self-check?

Well, can I be honest? When everyone would wonder and ask me how I was related to “this person or that person,” I had to explain I was blessed with a father and a daddy. For years, I explained what the difference meant to me. My father was biologically related, but my daddy was the man who raised me my whole life. I tried to discredit my father’s title as a whole because he wasn’t there, but didn’t realize it would affect me in the long run. 

This may be the first time some of my family or friends may hear this, but as stated above, I want to be honest. As the years increased and the more my father was absent, I became very bitter and didn’t realize how bitter I had become over the years. The bitterness caused so much brokenness, and I never spoke out about how much I was hurting. 

As a young adult, I began to ask questions like, “Why did I have a father and a daddy? Is this common? Why he can’t just do right? Why would he allow me to be raised by my daddy?” 

When I came to Christ, I was already a first-time mother and I started to realize something: “Bre, you are broken here and a lil bit there…” My husband saw the brokenness and he encouraged me to speak to my pastor and write my father. I finally quit running from the situation and took his suggestions. 

I’m grateful I did because it was one of the best things I’ve done for myself as a woman, mother, and wife. It was like a cleansing to my soul and I felt like weights were being lifted off of my shoulders. One thing I’ve learned while you’re working on healing your brokenness, is that no one can tell you how you should feel or how to think and feel. It’s valid for you to feel the way you feel, process it, and then pray and decide how you are going to deal with it.

I used to seek other things to fill the void where I was broken, but let me be the first to tell you that that’s setting yourself up for even more pain, adding to what’s already there. Only God can help you with those voids; He will restore. TRUST ME!  If I can encourage any young lady or woman to first admit to themselves that they have an issue, then choose to surround yourself with people who will be honest with you, and go to God with it all. Every young lady or woman should have a mentor they trust or someone who will keep them accountable; ladies: we need to love ourselves and don’t doubt yourself. You’re deserving of everything that God says about you. I hope my story has encouraged you because I know how it feels to be broken.