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Chronicles of the Bynum Bond By Larry and Breona Bynum – “How Communicating the ‘Good, Bad, & Ugly’ is Key in a Positive Relationship”

Bynum BondThere’s a saying that holds true when your first thought to say something is negative: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it all.” When it comes to communicating in your marriage though, you may have to rethink this saying. Now, it does not mean that when you are talking to your significant other, that you fling the meanest words possible. It just means that in order for two people to understand each other, you have to talk through everything: the good, the bad, and even the ugly.

Communication is verbal and nonverbal. You interact with your words but also through your body language: be aware that your actions can definitely speak louder than your words. Take time to observe your spouse’s words and body language so that you can be more sensitive to each other’s needs on any given subject. Prayer helps too so that you get your thoughts in order and you don’t purposefully offend your spouse. Remember: the goal is to be on one accord even if you are disagreeing about a topic—not enemies.

If you communicate better by first thinking things through, feel free to write down some key points so that you stay on track to talk with reason and not complete emotion. This is a good strategy especially if the situation is sensitive, like when you’re talking about money. Be willing to “lay all of your cards on the table” and allow each person to share freely about the topic so that it doesn’t filter into future problems. It will be worth it to not allow the enemy to creep into your marriage and bring mayhem. Lastly, to build your communication skills, try out some interactive communication games to get you and your spouse talking to each other outside of “situations”. You may be pleasantly surprised what you learn about your spouse and how much stronger your marriage is because of it.

There is no perfect “one-size fits all” remedy to communicating with your spouse. Please remember that what you invest in your marriage is what you reap of it, and it takes two to reap bountifully.

Try out this communication game with your spouse!

*21-day Word Challenge: Write (or text) one word to your spouse early in the day. At the end of the day, take some time and express why you chose the word that day towards your spouse. Have fun! Come out of your comfort zone! We look forward to hearing your results!*

BIO: Larry & Breona Bynum’s mission for the “Chronicles of the Bynum Bond” is to share marital nuggets of wisdom that they have learned through prayer/fasting, their Pastor Leroy Davis, and their marriage mentors. They encourage others to seek God for their unique roadmap for a God-designed marriage as it was always intended to be. They have currently been married for eight-and-a-half years and have two sons.

If you want to contact the Bynum’s, email them at BynumBond@yahoo.com.