CARTER AT LARGE Associate or Friend – Know the Difference By Lorraine B. Carter

If you have one true friend, get down on your knees and thank God for your friend, because you have been blessed. It is when you have a need for many friends that you will find disappointment.

If you realize that associates are a great thing, but not friends, you will not be disappointed in them. That is where some people fall into emotional problems expecting too much from associates. Associates are just that, they have associated themselves with you in some mutual endeavor or activity. They are friendly due to a linkage in mind and a desire to work for the same cause or interest. Yes, you can vocalize them as friends, but know they are not dear friends with undying loyalty.

Someone who would lay down their life for you and never betray you, that is a true friend! Someone who doesn’t want anything in return for their friendship. A friend is someone who loves you just as you are and not wanting you to change for them or anybody else.
A friend will not repeat anything you discuss or reveal. They would not break your confidence, in any form of betrayal. They would not hurt you or knowingly deceive you. They would not disrespect you for love of money and they would do all they could to inspire and encourage you. A true friend will let you know they love you and thank God for your friendship.

Know that God send’s true friends!

It happens in every family on occasion that a family member is not your friend. Just because you are related does not make that person your friend. If that person is always negative and making you feel uncomfortable you have to find the courage to discuss it, asking them to stop the behavior. If they don’t stop the negative behavior, let them go!

Even relatives can disrespect you and cause you to feel uncomfortable. You don’t have to put up with any kind of negative behavior, especially from a relative. Relative’s can hurt you more than anyone, so it is advisable to discontinue friendship with them. Don’t let them spoil your happiness; you are not bound by relationship to take their abusive behavior.

Sometimes a sour relative might harbor a grudge against you for something that might have happened in the distant past, or it could have been a multiplicity of repetitious injuries in their arsenal. When they are around you any little dissatisfactory statement by you, could set off a tyrannical explosion of insults. It is best to avoid this person and ask God to intercede in this relative’s behavior, because there is very little you can do if the person won’t talk to you about their pent-up anger. Just remember a relative can destroy you if you let them. Your happiness is important, so don’t let any relative put you down. Sometimes you simply have to give up on them and count it as a loss. A loss, but not a failure, because you have taken it to the Lord, and God will take care of this in his own mysterious way. This reminds me of the term, “Let GOD.”

On occasion a relative just doesn’t like anyone in his/her family and blames everybody for his/her failures in life and has a negative attitude all the time. Many relatives become addicted to alcohol, drugs, and other addictive behavior’s, to get high so they don’t have to deal with the realities of their lives. Don’t let them prey on you! Don’t be anybody’s doormat or whipping stone just to get along. God did not Create you for that! If you allow yourself to be used and verbally spat upon, you are disobeying Gods will for you to live a good life. Remember, YOU ARE WONDERFULLY MADE! God bless all!